When you live with a chronic pain
disease you begin to understand what causes your pain to increase and what
techniques you can use to decrease that pain. I have had the monster
(rsd/crps) for 12 long years and some of my triggers are the changes in the weather,
dampness, standing for any length of time, walking distances, bending, stress,
anxiety and overdoing it. The question that I faced recently is; is there
a time when doing an activity is worth the pain that you feel after. I
have answered this for myself and that answer is a resounding "YES"!!!
In order to explain my answer I want to share with you what I did the evening of December 17th, the night of my high school alumni Christmas Party. I decided to make a concerted effort to attend and so I called an old high school friend, went out and bought a new dress and spent a couple of hours getting ready. I made the conscious decision not to wear the bandages and to forgo wheelchair and walker for a cane and drove off into the night determined to have fun.
I have to admit that it has been a long time since I dressed up and went out in the evening. Evenings are hard to manage because it is hard to come by transportation; all the services quit running at 5:30pm and rarely comes to my side of Birmingham and, the pain seems to be more intense in the evenings. I rarely ventured out and after several years of playing it easy and safe, bending and compromising my desires and letting pain have it's way, something in me wanted to go to this party more than anything else in the world.
I mingled, laughed, saw old friends and made new. I talked politics, the transit system, religion and old times. I tasted the delicious finger foods and explored the art gallery. I talked sports and homecoming and the hopes for a championship in our division next year. I even had a little bit of wine (and confessed to the doc on Monday that I did) and flirted my head off with several men. It was a reckless feeling and I was almost giddy with the excitement of it all.
The next day the pain was searing. The pain began to climb about halfway through the party and eventually ended up at a 10. The burning pain drove me to tears and I stayed in bed the next day with my feet up, the curtains drawn and a wet wash cloth around my neck. I reached a startling conclusion sitting in the dark; I found that I was reliving the party in my mind and as I did the pain receded just a bit. I discovered that I had dropped a vital part of life by choosing to avoid the things I used to enjoy because I was afraid of the pain.
I suppose that what I am saying is; don't let the pain suck you into a world where you become isolated and joyless. Find the things that you love to do and do them. Don't be scared that it will hurt and don't let it rob you of the fun and joy of life. Make a committed decision to live your life to the fullest and you will find that the pleasure and joys are worth the cost of the pain.
In order to explain my answer I want to share with you what I did the evening of December 17th, the night of my high school alumni Christmas Party. I decided to make a concerted effort to attend and so I called an old high school friend, went out and bought a new dress and spent a couple of hours getting ready. I made the conscious decision not to wear the bandages and to forgo wheelchair and walker for a cane and drove off into the night determined to have fun.
I have to admit that it has been a long time since I dressed up and went out in the evening. Evenings are hard to manage because it is hard to come by transportation; all the services quit running at 5:30pm and rarely comes to my side of Birmingham and, the pain seems to be more intense in the evenings. I rarely ventured out and after several years of playing it easy and safe, bending and compromising my desires and letting pain have it's way, something in me wanted to go to this party more than anything else in the world.
I mingled, laughed, saw old friends and made new. I talked politics, the transit system, religion and old times. I tasted the delicious finger foods and explored the art gallery. I talked sports and homecoming and the hopes for a championship in our division next year. I even had a little bit of wine (and confessed to the doc on Monday that I did) and flirted my head off with several men. It was a reckless feeling and I was almost giddy with the excitement of it all.
The next day the pain was searing. The pain began to climb about halfway through the party and eventually ended up at a 10. The burning pain drove me to tears and I stayed in bed the next day with my feet up, the curtains drawn and a wet wash cloth around my neck. I reached a startling conclusion sitting in the dark; I found that I was reliving the party in my mind and as I did the pain receded just a bit. I discovered that I had dropped a vital part of life by choosing to avoid the things I used to enjoy because I was afraid of the pain.
I suppose that what I am saying is; don't let the pain suck you into a world where you become isolated and joyless. Find the things that you love to do and do them. Don't be scared that it will hurt and don't let it rob you of the fun and joy of life. Make a committed decision to live your life to the fullest and you will find that the pleasure and joys are worth the cost of the pain.
My favorite yet! Thats the girl I know!! Hang in there and Merry Christmas!!
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