How Will You Be Remembered?

 (Originally Posted By Leslie Coggin in Living with RSD/CRPS at 2/07/2012 09:58:00 PM) 

Barbara Johnson says in her book "The Joy Journal",

"How will you use the years God gives you? Will you be remembered

for being a fault finder?  Or will you be known for your quick smile, the life

lines around your eyes, and the twinkle deep within? After all, the Lord gives

you your face, but you provide the expression!"

When I read this I started thinking about how often I let the pain control how I look; how many times I didn't get up and get dressed, how many times I didn't bother to brush my hair or put on make-up, how many times I let my voice give away that I was in pain and how often I complain or vent to people who have no idea about what this pain feels like.

Some people believe that if you are smiling, look nice or have a cheerful tone in your voice then you are not in pain.  Not true. I am in pain 24 hours a day 7 days a week but, I have found that if I take the time to put on make up and wear nice clothes that the pain seems a little less intense.  If I have a cheerful tone of voice then my spirits are a little bit higher.  Complaining about the pain or venting about how bad you feel soon grows old.  I have noticed that even with my own family a glaze tends to crawl across their face and they stop listening or believing that the pain is as intense as I say it is. 

There are times when the pain is so intense that I stay in bed and my voice reveals everything I feel.  I can not get up and get dressed or put on make-up.  Moments like these cause me to grumble and vent to anyone and everyone who comes near me.  That's okay; as long as it is once in a while.  The fastest way to wear down a caregiver or a family member is to vent and complain every day and soon a wall comes down where you are on one side and they are on another and you can find yourself facing a lifetime of pain alone.

I encourage each of you to take a look at yourself and the patterns that you have created.  When your pain level is tolerable force yourself to dress a little bit nicer, put on some make-up and use a pleasant tone of voice.   I think that you will be surprised at how much better you will feel about yourself as well as see a difference in the way you are treated by the people around you. When someone questions whether you are in pain all you have to say is "Yes, I am in pain but it is a bit better today so I decided to rejoin the human race for a day."  I think that you will be surprised at how well you will feel and how the attitudes of the people around you will change.